You did not do what you wanted to, you did what others wanted you to do. So now if you see anyone passionate working on what he loves to, you like them. You adore them in the way the person follows his/her passion. But the way you express the admiration is jealousy, which is fine as it motivates.
You try to prove them wrong, you try to justify your approach, seek to find satisfaction in your approach, but deep inside your heart is the growing frustration that you are doing not enough that you should have been doing. Y destiny is not known and you are not doing anything to find it.
I know jealousy is the only way you know to express your love/admiration.
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